Isn't that cantaloupe really cool?? I just sliced it right down the middle and found the seeds in a heart~ Well you can see I've made some changes... my living room is finally finished. I got the door frame from a friend and added the pictures, then my friend mounted it with barbed wire and made me a second boot~ How cool huh?? I also decided to do something different with my hair... was going to get it cut... then decided... just go BLACK~ Oh ya... and tattoo number 3~ lol

Catch up~

Well it is about time to catch up with us Cheevers Girls~ Things here on some level are going good~ The weather is unbelievable for this time of year. We have had 2 horrible winters and now we have had March weather all winter long. I'm very worried that's going to mean a long HOT summer full of bugs and sunburns~ lol My daycare is going great. I currently have an opening for a full time child over 2 years old... so spread the word!! I have 2 five year olds, 1 two almost three year old, and 2 five month old babies. We have a lot of fun and they keep me very busy~ It is a lot of fun having babies again and they both are doing great!! They are both on the same schedule and it is the same schedule as my other daycare kiddos so I can get them all down for nap around noonish for a little break in the day. Doesn't last long, but a break is a break~ I usually have just enough time to watch Young and the Restless before I have to get up and start making bottles and getting ready for the afternoon~ I really do like my job. I was struggling for a while feeling cooped up all the time and needing to get out and be around people, but I'm doing more and more things outside the home, so it isn't a struggle at all anymore to work from home.

The girls are just growing. I can't even explain to you how fast they grow~ They are both turning into young women... not the dainty sipping tea kind of young women, but strong confident loving caring young women. Hailey is half way through her 8th grade year and will be a FRESHMAN in high school next year. I am sooooooooooooooooo not ready for that!!! She has had a few minor struggles in school. Talking for one. The girl can talk to anyone. One teacher said... well I would move her, but the girl doesn't know a stranger~ haha~ She even got kicked out of class once for her talking... which in turn resulted in the removal of her talking device... no not that... just her cell phone. You'd think it was the end of the world, but I tell you... when she is grounded from her phone... I see so much more of her and we have some great time together. When she has that stupid phone she has to answer every text as it is happening and gets sucked into this world of everything revolves around the phone. Drives me nuts!! She also has had problems with a class this year. A lot of her school work comes very easy for her, so she gets mostly good grades... but science is not something she excels at, therefore she hasn't been putting in the effort... so she gets a bad grade... well that resulted in again... the removal of the talking device. She just needs to settle down and get ahold of what is most important and it is NOT that cell phone. But she is doing better. She was able to bring her grade up in one week... so thought she could get her phone back. NO WAY SISTA~ I know you can bring up your grades, but you need to keep them up for yourself not just bring them up to get your phone back. She is getting ready to start playing basketball next week and is very excited!! Basketball and softball are her favorites. I still wish she had a desire for track because the girl has some legs and some speed on her but just wasn't her thing~ It sure is fun watching her use that speed to steal bases in softball. Over spring break she gets to take a field trip and is soooo totally excited for it. I'm not ready for her to be all the way across the country, but what an experience it will be for her!! We have had a new baby enter our little yaya group and boy is Hailey head over heals for that baby~ It is really awesome to watch them together. When Hailey enters the room and Pendy hears her... she will turn to look for her. They have such a special bond. Hailey is the only one that Pendy will just work so hard to talk and talk and talk to. She's always watching her and always loves when Hailey has her. I'm hoping that means Hailey will give me TONS of grand babies to spoil... but not til after college and a degree and an awesome job... and then Granny can just spend the rest of time watching grandkids~ lol

Glori girl is just so full of spit fire~ The girl cracks me up!! She had a little boy at school ask her out. We had a discussion about what 5th grade "going out" means. So she said yes and they went out for 2 days... then the little boy called her and said... well... I kinda kissed another girl at the fun spot... are we still going out?? Glori hung up on him!! Atta GIRL!!!! lol~ She didn't talk to him for 3 days then he said sorry and asked if they could be friends... she said yes they could be friends. She is the kinda girl you don't want to cross or you might have a voodoo doll with your face on it!! She is so stinkin funny too~ She is getting better at the one liner come backs and boy does that irritate her sister!! One day Hailey thought she was going to be sooooo super cool in front of her friends and tell Glori how small her brain was... Glori's comeback was... at least I don't need a flashlight to find my brain~ lol Man she keeps me rollin~ She is doing great in school. School is getting a little tougher for her, but she's handling it very well. I'm so glad I've never had any problems with the girls doing their homework and wanting to get good grades~ Glori is also in band this year. She plays the flute and they just had their first concert this week. She did great!!! She really likes the flute and named it BRENDA~ hee hee hee Glori has already started playing basketball and I really get so excited watching her. I've been known to turn into one of those parents protesting a foul or requesting the ref watch the game a little closer so he can see the fouls being caused. Glori has turned into a real go getter in basketball and a pretty good ball handler. Her trouble is the moving screen fouls. I mean really.... just because you move... it is a foul... me thinkith not!! lol She's been having a ton of fun with it though~ Recently we have rearranged and cleaned her room and bathroom. That was a struggle for her. She's a little bit of a hoarder~ but she loves how everything is nice and neat now and clean and she actually has room in her bedroom to play!!!

Not really much else going on. Joey and I... blech... don't want to go there. We did sign divorce papers on Wednesday and no I'm not doing well, but it is what I have been dealt~ Trying to cope~ I have some really awesome awesome friends that have just picked me up and drug me out of my pit of hell and keeps holding me up til I can stand on my own. I really love and appreciate them so much!! I have my yaya's that really take the brunt of it all, and I have my go to girls for things I need to work out.. then I have long distance friends, and face book friends... I really just appreciate all the support so much. Sometimes you just never know how you are going to pull yourself up everyday... and then you feel another hand on your back keeping you from falling down~ I could not have gotten through this without each one of my friends and there just is no way to express how much each kind word or word of support or showing up to clean or paint, talk to my girls or bring the booze for a horrid day, or bring a flower to brighten one.... everything has just meant sooo much to me and really kept me going~ It would be sooo sooo soooo easy to sink into depression and never come out.... I'm working hard at staying a float and have all my friends and family to thank for all the help~

Put a pin in it~

I have 15 pages of documents stating who what when where how... but no why!! Page 1 states.... this marriage is irretrievably broken~ My face book posting earlier this week was... Nuttin like a piece of paper telling you when you get to be a parent. That is exactly what this feels like. My family is now dictated by a calendar~ You know how much that hurts a person who has only ever wanted a family. I don't have big goals and life long dreams except to be a good mother and have a great family. Now I'm being told by a judge when I can do that. I'm not going to bad mouth my ex, just express my feelings. You know how hard of a pill it is to swallow that the person you loved for 14 years and still do... feels like they are personally attacking you??? It is hard to comprehend. The facts..... I will no longer be provided health insurance or dental, I will no longer have the income I use to have to support my family, I risk losing my house... which since I work out of my home... I lose my job, I no longer have the security, and I no longer have my best friend. In turn... all of those things say... I was not worth it. Ya know in these times I hear of people losing their jobs or having hard family struggles... my response... please tell me how I can help. I feel like every day I keep getting hit with more and more~ Something about me wasn't worth keeping our family together. Ultimately that's the truth. Was his choice to leave, so what does that say about me? I've always wanted a family and to raise my family and grow old with grand babies and sitting on the porch. Throw in a party now and then, add a concert and some fun and I'm all set. Don't need to be a billionaire, or have all these cool things, but never thought I'd be in the position of not having health care or dental, or lose my house, or choose between food or electric bill. Where did my life go wrong?? Then there is the future... I have my daycare set up to take all school teachers kids. I'm off every holiday and summer break... so I have time to just be a mother to my girls. Time off to just be a mom~ Well that has totally screwed me. I have no income in the summer now. The future is very scary and I don't want to face it.... but it is barreling right at me~ I just don't know that I have ever felt in such a state to cause someone else this much pain and struggle in life. That is what I keep coming back to. Ok, so he says he doesn't love me and never has.... but the commitment was there... the friendship was awesome... but somewhere along the lines... as a person I just wasn't valued enough. My happiness and my future didn't matter anymore and getting out is the only option no matter the cost~ What can I do now??? Move forward~ Be the best mom I can in the time allotted to me~ Find ways to make more money for the security of my home and job~ Make cuts where I can to afford health and dental insurance~ Would just be fabulous if a millionaire fell in love with me... but then where am I?? Is it true love?? Is it a love that will screw me in the end and make things worse?? Is there even such a thing as love... or is it really about how much we can tolerate another person, and when that tolerance runs out... you're screwed!!! I'll never understand truly what happened... and I'll always wish I was worth more~ I'd like to just put a pin in it and walk away for a while. Maybe when I come back to deal with it... it won't hurt so much~

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin

Just praying to a god that I don't believe in

Cuz I got time while he got freedom

Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even

His best days were some of my worst

he finally met someone that puts him first

While I'm wide awake he's got no trouble sleeping

Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even...even.. no

What amd I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you,

And what am I supppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok

I'm falling to pieces, yeah,

I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason

But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding

Cuz he's moved on while I'm still grieving

And when a heart breaks no it don't break even ... even ... no

What am I gonna to do when the best part of me was always you,

And what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces

(one still in love while the other ones leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

(Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

oh you got his heart and none of the pain

You took your suitcase, I took the blame

Now I'm trying to make sense of what little remains oooh

Cuz you left me with no love and no love to my name.

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathin

Just praying to a god that I don't believe in

Cuz I got time while he got freedom

Cuz When a heart breaks no it don't break

no it don't break

no it don't break even nooo

What am I gonna do when the best part of me was always you and

what am I suppose to say when I'm all choked up that you're ok

(oh glad your ok now)

I'm falling to pieces yeah

(Oh Im' glad your ok)

I'm falling to pieces yeah

(one still in love while the other ones leaving)

I'm falling to pieces

(Cuz when a heart breaks no it don't break even)

Oh it don't break even no

Oh it don't break even no

OH it don't break even no

painting party update~

The last post I did not get the pictures in the right order. Scroll to the bottom of the post and then scroll up to look at the pictures as they progressed~