To enjoying each moment and smiling... it's good for the soul~

Look at these girls... two sisters so different... yet so much the same~ They laugh they play they fight they protect they love they share they are there for each other. This is my favorite picture of them. Both have goofy looks on their faces, but having so much fun with one another. Looking at this pic brings tears to my eyes... who knows why. I seem to cry for many odd reasons now days. My tear ducts have a mind of their own. The many emotions I have experienced this last year and a half have added up to a lot of tissues. I rarely cry out of sadness anymore however. I have a lot of happy tears these days. Watching my girls grow and experience life. Hoping I can give them the advice and love they need to grow up to be happy loving girls with a lot of friends and family surrounding them. Divorce is not something you know what the hell is going on unless you are right in the middle of it. The worry of how the girls are dealing with it... the lonliness you yourself feels... the missing piece... maybe it was never there just filled with a piece that didn't fit... but you jammed it in there to make it look like the puzzle was put together right. I have grown more through this experience than I have I think in any other time in my life. Being forced to figure out who I am... and I'm thinkin I like this black haired blue eyed girl a little bit.

My Mom~

My mother was a fabulous mom~ I know I could count on her for absolutely anything including drive me crazy as a teenager~ My parents made so many sacrifices for me growing up. All just so I could do the things I wanted to in life. I'll never forget the first and only slap she gave me... and it was over a boy~ I remember her little bitty self driving that huge blue dooley.. and at the age of 14 she let me drive... and of course... we got pulled over. I remember her screaming at a huge black snake she found in the bathroom. My dad was hollering at her to load the gun and she jumped on the bed!!! I was able to get in the house to get the gun loaded and now there is a bullet hole in the floor of the bathroom. One of my most distinct moments was when we had my step brother and family living with us... they had 4 kids all young. My mom would constantly tell Colt.... now Colt Tanner you better be good or Grandma's going to get her wooden spoon. She'd give him a swat for being bad and tell him how to be a good boy next time. At her funeral their family had a boquet of wooden spoons made up as their flower arrangement. That story tells a lot about my mom. You loved her even when she had to be tough and loved her more for it that she was~ I have been a live more years without her than with her now. But the time I had with her was the best of my life. There is NO better smell in my life... than cigarettes and aqua net. She'd be smoking away every morning doing her hair and make up in the bathroom and spraying aqua net to keep her hair in place. I love her and miss her dearly, and I really love I can catch glimpses of her in my girls now and then!!

Uma... Momma... Mommy... Mom... Moooaammmm~

Being a mom isn't anything that can be described. The love you have for your children is fierce~ Mom would do anything for her child and sacrifices every day to make sure they are taken care of. My children are my heart and my world~ Hailey's first word was Uma... and she meant it for Momma~ She would say puc for cup and cupsi for Pepsi~ Glori girl use to suck on my chin and rub her fingers over my hand. There is no comparison for the love you feel for your child... whether you were a mom for 5 seconds or 80 years... whether you birthed them or adopted them... the love a mother has for a child is something that can not be tamed~

The Cheevers Girls are really coming around and doing great~ We have entered our busy season with basketball and softball. Will be a ton of running around from now until summer. The girls are just doing great and really growing up on me~ They are having tons of fun with friends and school and activities~ I myself have turned a corner~ I think it is the spring air lol. I'm no longer huddled in a corner crying everyday~ Just something clicked. I can't be what I was turning into. Just too much sadness and pain. I've let it go and moving on. I've gotten a few new things done.... I posted pics below... I dyed my hair black and got another tattoo on my foot. I really love my tattoo and REALLY love my hair... think I'll keep it this way for a long time~ I'm getting out of the house more and spending time with friends. I have such a huge group of friends who have really helped me a long the way. Whether it is a posting on facebook, or and invite to dinner.... a text during the day, or just spending time with our families together hanging out~ My friends have really been instrumental to me pulling myself out of this funk~ I'm doing much better. I played on a coed volleyball team this winter. It was sooo much fun. I really missed playing and it is something that never goes away..... you just jump right back in and have a blast. I did however hurt my knee during a game. The same one I hurt my sophmore year. I've been going to physical therapy and today have my last diagnosis appointment. It was so swollen and so much fluid in there they couldn't determine if anything was torn or just strained. I've been doing exercise and pt and they hooked me up to the electro shock machine too. I can almost get it all straight, but still have some pain. I can't take any weight on it as far as lifting heavy things. Going down stairs really puts pressure on my knee and still have a sharp pain when going down stairs... but I'm not hobblin all gimpy anymore on crutches so that is good. I did however miss the play off games and was pretty sad about that~ But we have sand volleyball coming up this summer so I'll try my hand at that~ Otherwise things are going ok. I'm still needing to find kids in the summer for daycare. Daycare is going good though. I really have great kids in my care... they are a lot of fun~ I get all next week off with spring break and I'm very excited about that. Hailey will be gone and Glori will spend the first few days with her dad on break, so I'll have all this time with NOTHING to do~ Think I'll sit in the sun with a couple corona and not get up for 3-4 days. lol I hope everyone is doing well and would love to catch up. Send me an e-mail sometime. I post a TON of pics on facebook, so come check me out and add me as a friend~

This is the Hailey Baby~ She is growing up on me toooooo fast~ Hailey is doing really great~ She is still playing basketball with a couple of games left this week~ She has really started making progress playing. Last year she was very timid... now she has no problem gettin on the floor for a ball and even taking the ball down court. She's having fun gettin in there with all the girls~ She is not going to be playing softball until later this season. She turned 13 so she is too old for majors in softball... she'll be playing on a Jr league team that starts in the summer. She really can't wait. She loves softball the best. I LOOOOOOVE watching her play softball. The way she can steal bases and has a head for the game makes it so fun to watch~ She is doing good in school... she's had her ups and downs. She tends to be really good at school, so she hasn't had to ever put in much effort, but now school is getting a little harder so she's having to learn how to study to really know her stuff. She's had her phone taken away a couple times for bad grades, but really on the ball now~ Hailey is really excited for her trip coming up. She gets to go to Washington DC on a class trip. I'm REALLY nervous about having her so far away, but she is going to get to see a ton of sights and just have a great time. A few of her girlfriends are going and they are going to have a blast... I'm just hoping I survive having her that far away~ lol

Look at my sweet Glori girl~ I'm thinking that smirk in the picture proves the sarcasm in my statement~ lol Glori is just doing great~ She is finished playing basketball and had a really great season. She was point guard most of the time and really handles the ball quite well. Her coach said he hasn't seen a girl this young with such aggressiveness... lol... that's my girl~ Now bball is done and she's started playing softball. She is also in a running program after school on base... so she is keeping quite busy. She is playing the flute too and doing really great in school~ Today she is home sick from school. Her throat really bothering her. Hard to swallow and drink... and who do you think she comes to say good morning to and thank you for all your help and mothering.... NOT ME~ She goes right to Penny Pie and says... oh good morning Penny Pie... what a good girl Penny Pie~ UGH~ Her and Penny Pie are the best of friends... mom comes in second~ lol~ JUST LOOK AT ALL THOSE FRECKLES~ WHAT A CUTIE PIE~